a poem i found

A boy and a girl,
the best of friends.
From elementary to high school
from beginning to end.

Through all those years
their friendship grew.
They both felt the same,
but neither knew.

Each waking moment
since the day they met.
They both loved each other
sunrise to sunset.

He was all she had
in her terrible life.
He was the one
who kept her from her knife.

She was his angel,
she made him smile.
Though life threw him curves,
she made it all worth while.

Then one day
things went terribly wrong.
The next few weeks
were like a very sad song.

He made her jealous
on purpose he tried.
When the girl asked, "Do you love her?"
on purpose he lied.

He played with jealousy
like it was a game.
Little did he know
Things would never be the same.

His plan was working
but he had no clue.
How wrong things would go,
the damage he would do.

One night she broke down,
feeling very alone.
Just her and the blade,
no one else home.

She dialed his number,
he answered, "Hello"
She told him she loved him
and hung up the phone.

He raced to her house
just a minute too late.
Found her lying in blood,
her heart had no rate.

Beside her was a note,
in it her confession.
Her love for this boy,
her only obsession.

As he read the note,
he knelt down and cried.
Grabbed her knife,
that night they both died.

She was found in his arms,
both of them dead.
Under her note
his handwriting said:

"I loved her so,
she never knew.
All this time
I loved her too."

karma... what a bitch.

Dear Karma,

I thought you were my friend, but time and time again, you have screwed me over. I know that what goes around also comes around, but this time I feel as if I have done nothing to deserve anything bad you have given me lately.

In the last year, you have given me so much, but as always happens, you also take away. First, you give me a great guy, but like I was prone to doing when I was younger, I screwed it up, and you, like a bitch decided to make things harder for me… harder to get, and harder to screw up. It wasn't really that hard to get, or so I thought. I was getting whatever I wanted, from whoever I could get it from, and I thought I was happy, but once again, you had proved your point. It was harder to get than I had originally thought. I was getting the attention, but the emotional aspect was missing.

So I moved on. Then I found another guy. It was both a physical and emotional attraction, and I was enjoying myself, but then he became self involved, and I wasn't willing to share him with his friends, or fight for his time, so I moved on, yet again.

Next, I venture into the unknown, and date a girl, who it could be said, treated me better than any of the other guys I have ever dated, except for the first. She gave me almost every thing I wanted, and still, I wasn't happy. I think it's because ultimately, she couldn't give me the only things I have ever truly desired in life. So in the end, we called things quits, and she moved on.

So for the last few months, I have been dating so many random guys in a vain attempt to get back the love, affection, emotion I so desperately seek. And for once I am tired of finding losers. So please Karma, send me someone worthy of my time, and of my attention. I don't want another drugged out loser who cares more about himself, and his job than he does about me, because while it is nice to have a guy with a job, what good is this guy if I never see him?

I am tired of putting myself out there, and never getting anything in return. I mean, bad sex in exchange for an evening out with a guy that I don't have anything in common with… I don't want this. I don't want any of it. So karma, if you are listening, please stop sending me shit. I am ready for a real life. A real commitment. A real love.

Desperately yours,

Jessica

my old who i’d like to meet section

someone who will lay beside me while i sleep and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. someone who can understand me, even when i am being stupid. someone who doesn't expect much from me. someone i don't expect much from. someone who works. someone who lets me be myself, and realizes that i need time just to go out and be a girl. someone who doesn't care what i look like, as long as i have a good heart. someone who realizes that i am quirky, and doesn't care that i want to dye my hair hot pink and black. someone who doesn't lie to me. someone who reminds me a lot of me. someone like you.


Okay, to be perfectly honest, I think I may have to put what I do not want to meet.

1. I don't want to meet someone who is only interested in sex.
2. I don't want someone who is addicted to drugs of anyone.
3. I don't want someone who cannot work, and then depends on me to take care of them. I am not your momma. Get off your ass and work.
4. If you don't want kids, I probably do not want to deal with your bullshit.
5. If you can't make time for me, I don't think I will be able to make time for you.

okay, tell me why it is that i am always looking, but never finding. is it because i have already found what i am looking for, but just gave up on it because it was too hard? this life sucks. i am ready for what comes next, but that too is not presenting itself. i am tired of always finding guys that don't last. i want something real, something that i can hold on to... is that too much to ask?


Okay, here are my requirements.

1. i want a guy with a job. i work, so he should have to work too.
2. i want a guy who has all of his teeth. LMAO.
3. i want a guy who has ambition, either to his job, or towards going somewhere with his life.
4. if you don't want kids, move along. no point in wasting my time, or yours.
5. if you do drugs, even weed, see number 4.
6. i want a guy who is musically talented, or at least likes music.
7. if you are in the military, or work as a cop, emt, or fire fighter, you will score major points with me. i love a man in uniform.
8. i want a guy who isn't abusive. i have dealt with this before, and i am not dealing with it again.
9. i want a guy who is willing to spend a great deal of time with me, or near me. even if we aren't talking. just sitting next to each other enjoying the silence.
10. i want a guy over the age of 20. preferably someone who drinks socially. not an outright alcoholic.
11. if you are interested in dungeons and dragons, WOW, or any other sword fighting, role playing stuff, don't tell me. i don't need to know.
12. i want a guy who isn't going to go back to his ex girlfriend next week. if you cheat on me with a fat chick with a mustache, go fuck yourself.

If you actually made it this far, and you think you can make me happy, message me. Right now, I am at a point of my life where I am picky. Don't expect much from me, because I am not in the mood for your bullshit. Also, don't expect sex from me. I am not wanting a sexual relationship.





so yea, this basically sums everything up. i am not majorly picky. at least i don't think i am.