a poem i found

A boy and a girl,
the best of friends.
From elementary to high school
from beginning to end.

Through all those years
their friendship grew.
They both felt the same,
but neither knew.

Each waking moment
since the day they met.
They both loved each other
sunrise to sunset.

He was all she had
in her terrible life.
He was the one
who kept her from her knife.

She was his angel,
she made him smile.
Though life threw him curves,
she made it all worth while.

Then one day
things went terribly wrong.
The next few weeks
were like a very sad song.

He made her jealous
on purpose he tried.
When the girl asked, "Do you love her?"
on purpose he lied.

He played with jealousy
like it was a game.
Little did he know
Things would never be the same.

His plan was working
but he had no clue.
How wrong things would go,
the damage he would do.

One night she broke down,
feeling very alone.
Just her and the blade,
no one else home.

She dialed his number,
he answered, "Hello"
She told him she loved him
and hung up the phone.

He raced to her house
just a minute too late.
Found her lying in blood,
her heart had no rate.

Beside her was a note,
in it her confession.
Her love for this boy,
her only obsession.

As he read the note,
he knelt down and cried.
Grabbed her knife,
that night they both died.

She was found in his arms,
both of them dead.
Under her note
his handwriting said:

"I loved her so,
she never knew.
All this time
I loved her too."

karma... what a bitch.

Dear Karma,

I thought you were my friend, but time and time again, you have screwed me over. I know that what goes around also comes around, but this time I feel as if I have done nothing to deserve anything bad you have given me lately.

In the last year, you have given me so much, but as always happens, you also take away. First, you give me a great guy, but like I was prone to doing when I was younger, I screwed it up, and you, like a bitch decided to make things harder for me… harder to get, and harder to screw up. It wasn't really that hard to get, or so I thought. I was getting whatever I wanted, from whoever I could get it from, and I thought I was happy, but once again, you had proved your point. It was harder to get than I had originally thought. I was getting the attention, but the emotional aspect was missing.

So I moved on. Then I found another guy. It was both a physical and emotional attraction, and I was enjoying myself, but then he became self involved, and I wasn't willing to share him with his friends, or fight for his time, so I moved on, yet again.

Next, I venture into the unknown, and date a girl, who it could be said, treated me better than any of the other guys I have ever dated, except for the first. She gave me almost every thing I wanted, and still, I wasn't happy. I think it's because ultimately, she couldn't give me the only things I have ever truly desired in life. So in the end, we called things quits, and she moved on.

So for the last few months, I have been dating so many random guys in a vain attempt to get back the love, affection, emotion I so desperately seek. And for once I am tired of finding losers. So please Karma, send me someone worthy of my time, and of my attention. I don't want another drugged out loser who cares more about himself, and his job than he does about me, because while it is nice to have a guy with a job, what good is this guy if I never see him?

I am tired of putting myself out there, and never getting anything in return. I mean, bad sex in exchange for an evening out with a guy that I don't have anything in common with… I don't want this. I don't want any of it. So karma, if you are listening, please stop sending me shit. I am ready for a real life. A real commitment. A real love.

Desperately yours,

Jessica