so, this is the worst day ever.

I say that like someone had died, and in a sense, someone has. Yesterday, my Sidekick II was stolen. As in, I left it on my coffee table while I went to the store, and when I came back, it was no where to be found. I have two witnesses who will attest to this. So I spent the better part of way too damn early to be awake looking for my cell phone, even though I knew where I left it.

Needless to say, my efforts were in vain. Jodi ended up finding my cell phone early this morning, laying casually in the yard in an area I never go. Which is weird, but whatever. My cell phone is destroyed. It looks like someone's dog used it for a chew toy.

At the moment I feel like Paris Hilton, because of the whole Sidekick thing.

Just a friendly reminder: Lock your doors Joaquin people. There is apparently a thief on the loose.

I NEED IDEAS

Okay everyone, I need ideas. I'm doing a website for my speech class on STDs.. how you get them. what their symptoms are. how to prevent yourself from getting one. how to treat them. that sort of thing. if anyone has anything new to suggest for the website, get back to me. so far i've had two really good ideas. one girl suggested putting hotline numbers so kids can call in and get information. another person suggested i put polls on the page. anyone else wanna be cool and suggest something? i'll credit you on my contributors page.

so douse yourself in cheap perfume...

For those of you who don't know, I am happy. H-A-P-P-Y. As in, OMG you don't want to be around me because I only talk about him happy. So trust me, unless you know Anthony, and want to talk about him, stay away from me.

Anyways, this weekend was amazing. I got to Carthage Friday night, and went straight to Anthony's house. We went to see Ice Age 2, which was so funny. Ended up running into Heather, who just happened to be sitting right behind us. It was crazy. Afterwards, we went back to Anthony's house, and me and Anthony got into a fight. It was strange. So after he decided he didn't want to fight with me, we just layed awake talking all night about everything. I love just being with him. The next morning, we woke up way early, and went to the old Beall's building to start setting things up for their cd release thingy. We stayed there all day, so I ended up hanging out with David's girlfriend, Valarie, who is so awesomely cool. Finally, 5 PM rolled around, and the shows started. It was a welcome relief from the monotony that I had been in all day. The bands were really good. Especially the children's choir. Anyone who wasn't there, missed a really good show.

Anthony's band was amazing. I love so much watching him perform. He has such a peaceful look on his face when he's playing. I can't take my eyes off of him when he plays. He looks so happy. I wish I could give him the same level of happiness that he gets from making music. Right now, he's my everything. Hopefully, he will be for years to come.

Also, I have big news. I will explain it all in detail when I know more about it. Keep your eyes peeled, because I know I will be telling you about it soon.

Oh yea, and I think I've finally decided what I want to do with my life. I want to be a teacher. And a wedding planner. Basically, I want to do everything, but right now, those are the top two.

So yea, that's it. How was everyone else's weekend?

It is apparent...

It is apparent that I have too much time on my hands. Since I've been at school this morning, I've been on myspace, waiting for my last class to begin. It should begin soon, but I really don't want to go. I'd rather go hang out with Anthony for a little while. Hopefully that happens today. I really miss him. We talked for awhile last night on the phone after he left my house. That was before I cried myself to sleep because I hate the direction my life is currently going. I hate everything about this wretched prision I am trapped in. I just want to get out. Joaquin, TX is hell. There should be a sign upon entering that says "Where souls come to die." I know that due to the last few years, that sign is inappropriate, but it is very fitting to how living in BFN is making me feel. Well, I guess that is all for now.

DON'T GIVE IN TO THE DARK SIDE!!!

I feel sorry for all of those poor people who got up this morning and put on green shirts. This morning I went to the grocery store, and all around me was a gigantic rainbow in varying shades of green. It was scary. One guy was even pimpin himself out in green shamrock Mardi Gras beads. How weird. Needless to say, I'm not wearing green today.

On a brighter note, I (yes me!!) helped someone out today. That is something most people are use to. Me being sweet. But I walked down the coke aisle, and there was this old lady struggling to get a Diet Rootbeer off of the top shelve, and I just felt so bad for her, so I asked her if she needed help. You all should be proud of me. The old me wouldn't normally help someone out like that.

Anyways, I've been thinking a lot about the good old days of U-Turn and Jacob's Well. Anyone on here that use to go to either of those places should hit me up, and we should get together and do something like that again. I guess the only reason I've been thinking of U-Turn is because of conversations I have had with
Anthony. His friends mom has bought the old Beall's store in Carthage, and is in the process of turning it into a book store/coffee house/concert venue. It should be cool, but it has a good way to go before it's ready. That being said, I think I'm going to go now!

Much love to you all!!
Jessica

It’s amazing how much I’ve changed over the last few weeks.

It's amazing how much I've changed over the last few weeks. I have many friends, most of which I talk to on at least a bi-weekly basis. Today I was talking to one of them, and he kept going on and on about how he likes to get drunk and high before watching KoRn music videos because they make him trip out. He also mentioned something about the acid trip the set designer had to have been on. Now I'm not exactly the best person in the world, but sitting here listening to this guy talk, I am once again reminded that the teenage population of North America is ignorant. Most of us have grown up in areas where teen death is almost non-existent, and if it does exist, it is caused by something other than the teen's stupidity. Anything other than natural death and suicide are accidental, besides over dosing and drunk driving. When you do drugs, or drink, you are willingly and knowingly risking the life of someone else, regardless of whether or not you actually know the person whose safety you have threatened. So next time you are thinking of drinking or doing drugs, remember that it is your own stupidity that will cost you your life.

Tribute To The Nice Girls

Here's to all those girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, I only want to be your friend, one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves and misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute.

Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught shit from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.

Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if".

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, he needs time."

Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so." The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave a shit about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.

When "your song" comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.

One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's gonna hurt like hell, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

This is for those girls, who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again...