my original about me

I'm a very self-conscious person. I lack the social skills of a fly because I am shy, and I don't like talking to people. I read a lot in my spare time, because television bores me. I make jokes about my life, in terms of who I am, and who I could be. I lie to people to make them feel better because I don't like hurting people. I am a flirt, and I think everyone knows it. I go after guys who are already in relationships. I hate being rejected, so I don't allow myself to meet new people. I want to be happy, but it is so much easier trying to be sad. I walk with my head down to avoid eye contact with other people. Maybe they won't talk to me if I'm not looking at them. Right now I'm in conflict with my beliefs. I'm not sure what they are, but I would like to find out. If anyone wants to help me with this, feel free. I am a very cooperative person, but only because I want to avoid conflict. I hate hunting, and killing animals, yet, I eat meat. I'm semi-preppy, but I make fun of preps. I love music, but I hate playing the flute. I think the most beautiful music comes from saxophones, and pianos. I have strange dreams about things that sometimes come true. Horror movies scare me, but I like watching them. I love musicals. My favorites so far are Grease and Chicago. I like Dirty Dancing, but I prefer Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. I like to wear black, but pink is nice too. Calla lilies are pretty, but give them to me with black roses. I claim to hate rap, but I love Kanye West. I enjoy watching people dance, but I would never entertain the idea of dancing myself. I am a poet, and a chef. I make the best desserts. The only real food I cook is chicken spaghetti, and sometimes chicken enchiladas. I love Angelina Jolie. I think people are works of art. I want to have kids one day maybe I'll adopt. But most of all, I want to love someone, and be loved in return.

so, this is the worst day ever.

I say that like someone had died, and in a sense, someone has. Yesterday, my Sidekick II was stolen. As in, I left it on my coffee table while I went to the store, and when I came back, it was no where to be found. I have two witnesses who will attest to this. So I spent the better part of way too damn early to be awake looking for my cell phone, even though I knew where I left it.

Needless to say, my efforts were in vain. Jodi ended up finding my cell phone early this morning, laying casually in the yard in an area I never go. Which is weird, but whatever. My cell phone is destroyed. It looks like someone's dog used it for a chew toy.

At the moment I feel like Paris Hilton, because of the whole Sidekick thing.

Just a friendly reminder: Lock your doors Joaquin people. There is apparently a thief on the loose.

I NEED IDEAS

Okay everyone, I need ideas. I'm doing a website for my speech class on STDs.. how you get them. what their symptoms are. how to prevent yourself from getting one. how to treat them. that sort of thing. if anyone has anything new to suggest for the website, get back to me. so far i've had two really good ideas. one girl suggested putting hotline numbers so kids can call in and get information. another person suggested i put polls on the page. anyone else wanna be cool and suggest something? i'll credit you on my contributors page.

so douse yourself in cheap perfume...

For those of you who don't know, I am happy. H-A-P-P-Y. As in, OMG you don't want to be around me because I only talk about him happy. So trust me, unless you know Anthony, and want to talk about him, stay away from me.

Anyways, this weekend was amazing. I got to Carthage Friday night, and went straight to Anthony's house. We went to see Ice Age 2, which was so funny. Ended up running into Heather, who just happened to be sitting right behind us. It was crazy. Afterwards, we went back to Anthony's house, and me and Anthony got into a fight. It was strange. So after he decided he didn't want to fight with me, we just layed awake talking all night about everything. I love just being with him. The next morning, we woke up way early, and went to the old Beall's building to start setting things up for their cd release thingy. We stayed there all day, so I ended up hanging out with David's girlfriend, Valarie, who is so awesomely cool. Finally, 5 PM rolled around, and the shows started. It was a welcome relief from the monotony that I had been in all day. The bands were really good. Especially the children's choir. Anyone who wasn't there, missed a really good show.

Anthony's band was amazing. I love so much watching him perform. He has such a peaceful look on his face when he's playing. I can't take my eyes off of him when he plays. He looks so happy. I wish I could give him the same level of happiness that he gets from making music. Right now, he's my everything. Hopefully, he will be for years to come.

Also, I have big news. I will explain it all in detail when I know more about it. Keep your eyes peeled, because I know I will be telling you about it soon.

Oh yea, and I think I've finally decided what I want to do with my life. I want to be a teacher. And a wedding planner. Basically, I want to do everything, but right now, those are the top two.

So yea, that's it. How was everyone else's weekend?

It is apparent...

It is apparent that I have too much time on my hands. Since I've been at school this morning, I've been on myspace, waiting for my last class to begin. It should begin soon, but I really don't want to go. I'd rather go hang out with Anthony for a little while. Hopefully that happens today. I really miss him. We talked for awhile last night on the phone after he left my house. That was before I cried myself to sleep because I hate the direction my life is currently going. I hate everything about this wretched prision I am trapped in. I just want to get out. Joaquin, TX is hell. There should be a sign upon entering that says "Where souls come to die." I know that due to the last few years, that sign is inappropriate, but it is very fitting to how living in BFN is making me feel. Well, I guess that is all for now.

DON'T GIVE IN TO THE DARK SIDE!!!

I feel sorry for all of those poor people who got up this morning and put on green shirts. This morning I went to the grocery store, and all around me was a gigantic rainbow in varying shades of green. It was scary. One guy was even pimpin himself out in green shamrock Mardi Gras beads. How weird. Needless to say, I'm not wearing green today.

On a brighter note, I (yes me!!) helped someone out today. That is something most people are use to. Me being sweet. But I walked down the coke aisle, and there was this old lady struggling to get a Diet Rootbeer off of the top shelve, and I just felt so bad for her, so I asked her if she needed help. You all should be proud of me. The old me wouldn't normally help someone out like that.

Anyways, I've been thinking a lot about the good old days of U-Turn and Jacob's Well. Anyone on here that use to go to either of those places should hit me up, and we should get together and do something like that again. I guess the only reason I've been thinking of U-Turn is because of conversations I have had with
Anthony. His friends mom has bought the old Beall's store in Carthage, and is in the process of turning it into a book store/coffee house/concert venue. It should be cool, but it has a good way to go before it's ready. That being said, I think I'm going to go now!

Much love to you all!!
Jessica

It’s amazing how much I’ve changed over the last few weeks.

It's amazing how much I've changed over the last few weeks. I have many friends, most of which I talk to on at least a bi-weekly basis. Today I was talking to one of them, and he kept going on and on about how he likes to get drunk and high before watching KoRn music videos because they make him trip out. He also mentioned something about the acid trip the set designer had to have been on. Now I'm not exactly the best person in the world, but sitting here listening to this guy talk, I am once again reminded that the teenage population of North America is ignorant. Most of us have grown up in areas where teen death is almost non-existent, and if it does exist, it is caused by something other than the teen's stupidity. Anything other than natural death and suicide are accidental, besides over dosing and drunk driving. When you do drugs, or drink, you are willingly and knowingly risking the life of someone else, regardless of whether or not you actually know the person whose safety you have threatened. So next time you are thinking of drinking or doing drugs, remember that it is your own stupidity that will cost you your life.