A boy and a girl,
the best of friends.
From elementary to high school
from beginning to end.
Through all those years
their friendship grew.
They both felt the same,
but neither knew.
Each waking moment
since the day they met.
They both loved each other
sunrise to sunset.
He was all she had
in her terrible life.
He was the one
who kept her from her knife.
She was his angel,
she made him smile.
Though life threw him curves,
she made it all worth while.
Then one day
things went terribly wrong.
The next few weeks
were like a very sad song.
He made her jealous
on purpose he tried.
When the girl asked, "Do you love her?"
on purpose he lied.
He played with jealousy
like it was a game.
Little did he know
Things would never be the same.
His plan was working
but he had no clue.
How wrong things would go,
the damage he would do.
One night she broke down,
feeling very alone.
Just her and the blade,
no one else home.
She dialed his number,
he answered, "Hello"
She told him she loved him
and hung up the phone.
He raced to her house
just a minute too late.
Found her lying in blood,
her heart had no rate.
Beside her was a note,
in it her confession.
Her love for this boy,
her only obsession.
As he read the note,
he knelt down and cried.
Grabbed her knife,
that night they both died.
She was found in his arms,
both of them dead.
Under her note
his handwriting said:
"I loved her so,
she never knew.
All this time
I loved her too."
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
karma... what a bitch.
Dear Karma,
I thought you were my friend, but time and time again, you have screwed me over. I know that what goes around also comes around, but this time I feel as if I have done nothing to deserve anything bad you have given me lately.
In the last year, you have given me so much, but as always happens, you also take away. First, you give me a great guy, but like I was prone to doing when I was younger, I screwed it up, and you, like a bitch decided to make things harder for me… harder to get, and harder to screw up. It wasn't really that hard to get, or so I thought. I was getting whatever I wanted, from whoever I could get it from, and I thought I was happy, but once again, you had proved your point. It was harder to get than I had originally thought. I was getting the attention, but the emotional aspect was missing.
So I moved on. Then I found another guy. It was both a physical and emotional attraction, and I was enjoying myself, but then he became self involved, and I wasn't willing to share him with his friends, or fight for his time, so I moved on, yet again.
Next, I venture into the unknown, and date a girl, who it could be said, treated me better than any of the other guys I have ever dated, except for the first. She gave me almost every thing I wanted, and still, I wasn't happy. I think it's because ultimately, she couldn't give me the only things I have ever truly desired in life. So in the end, we called things quits, and she moved on.
So for the last few months, I have been dating so many random guys in a vain attempt to get back the love, affection, emotion I so desperately seek. And for once I am tired of finding losers. So please Karma, send me someone worthy of my time, and of my attention. I don't want another drugged out loser who cares more about himself, and his job than he does about me, because while it is nice to have a guy with a job, what good is this guy if I never see him?
I am tired of putting myself out there, and never getting anything in return. I mean, bad sex in exchange for an evening out with a guy that I don't have anything in common with… I don't want this. I don't want any of it. So karma, if you are listening, please stop sending me shit. I am ready for a real life. A real commitment. A real love.
Desperately yours,
Jessica
I thought you were my friend, but time and time again, you have screwed me over. I know that what goes around also comes around, but this time I feel as if I have done nothing to deserve anything bad you have given me lately.
In the last year, you have given me so much, but as always happens, you also take away. First, you give me a great guy, but like I was prone to doing when I was younger, I screwed it up, and you, like a bitch decided to make things harder for me… harder to get, and harder to screw up. It wasn't really that hard to get, or so I thought. I was getting whatever I wanted, from whoever I could get it from, and I thought I was happy, but once again, you had proved your point. It was harder to get than I had originally thought. I was getting the attention, but the emotional aspect was missing.
So I moved on. Then I found another guy. It was both a physical and emotional attraction, and I was enjoying myself, but then he became self involved, and I wasn't willing to share him with his friends, or fight for his time, so I moved on, yet again.
Next, I venture into the unknown, and date a girl, who it could be said, treated me better than any of the other guys I have ever dated, except for the first. She gave me almost every thing I wanted, and still, I wasn't happy. I think it's because ultimately, she couldn't give me the only things I have ever truly desired in life. So in the end, we called things quits, and she moved on.
So for the last few months, I have been dating so many random guys in a vain attempt to get back the love, affection, emotion I so desperately seek. And for once I am tired of finding losers. So please Karma, send me someone worthy of my time, and of my attention. I don't want another drugged out loser who cares more about himself, and his job than he does about me, because while it is nice to have a guy with a job, what good is this guy if I never see him?
I am tired of putting myself out there, and never getting anything in return. I mean, bad sex in exchange for an evening out with a guy that I don't have anything in common with… I don't want this. I don't want any of it. So karma, if you are listening, please stop sending me shit. I am ready for a real life. A real commitment. A real love.
Desperately yours,
Jessica
Thursday, October 25, 2007
my old who i’d like to meet section
someone who will lay beside me while i sleep and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. someone who can understand me, even when i am being stupid. someone who doesn't expect much from me. someone i don't expect much from. someone who works. someone who lets me be myself, and realizes that i need time just to go out and be a girl. someone who doesn't care what i look like, as long as i have a good heart. someone who realizes that i am quirky, and doesn't care that i want to dye my hair hot pink and black. someone who doesn't lie to me. someone who reminds me a lot of me. someone like you.
Okay, to be perfectly honest, I think I may have to put what I do not want to meet.
1. I don't want to meet someone who is only interested in sex.
2. I don't want someone who is addicted to drugs of anyone.
3. I don't want someone who cannot work, and then depends on me to take care of them. I am not your momma. Get off your ass and work.
4. If you don't want kids, I probably do not want to deal with your bullshit.
5. If you can't make time for me, I don't think I will be able to make time for you.
okay, tell me why it is that i am always looking, but never finding. is it because i have already found what i am looking for, but just gave up on it because it was too hard? this life sucks. i am ready for what comes next, but that too is not presenting itself. i am tired of always finding guys that don't last. i want something real, something that i can hold on to... is that too much to ask?
Okay, here are my requirements.
1. i want a guy with a job. i work, so he should have to work too.
2. i want a guy who has all of his teeth. LMAO.
3. i want a guy who has ambition, either to his job, or towards going somewhere with his life.
4. if you don't want kids, move along. no point in wasting my time, or yours.
5. if you do drugs, even weed, see number 4.
6. i want a guy who is musically talented, or at least likes music.
7. if you are in the military, or work as a cop, emt, or fire fighter, you will score major points with me. i love a man in uniform.
8. i want a guy who isn't abusive. i have dealt with this before, and i am not dealing with it again.
9. i want a guy who is willing to spend a great deal of time with me, or near me. even if we aren't talking. just sitting next to each other enjoying the silence.
10. i want a guy over the age of 20. preferably someone who drinks socially. not an outright alcoholic.
11. if you are interested in dungeons and dragons, WOW, or any other sword fighting, role playing stuff, don't tell me. i don't need to know.
12. i want a guy who isn't going to go back to his ex girlfriend next week. if you cheat on me with a fat chick with a mustache, go fuck yourself.
If you actually made it this far, and you think you can make me happy, message me. Right now, I am at a point of my life where I am picky. Don't expect much from me, because I am not in the mood for your bullshit. Also, don't expect sex from me. I am not wanting a sexual relationship.
so yea, this basically sums everything up. i am not majorly picky. at least i don't think i am.
Okay, to be perfectly honest, I think I may have to put what I do not want to meet.
1. I don't want to meet someone who is only interested in sex.
2. I don't want someone who is addicted to drugs of anyone.
3. I don't want someone who cannot work, and then depends on me to take care of them. I am not your momma. Get off your ass and work.
4. If you don't want kids, I probably do not want to deal with your bullshit.
5. If you can't make time for me, I don't think I will be able to make time for you.
okay, tell me why it is that i am always looking, but never finding. is it because i have already found what i am looking for, but just gave up on it because it was too hard? this life sucks. i am ready for what comes next, but that too is not presenting itself. i am tired of always finding guys that don't last. i want something real, something that i can hold on to... is that too much to ask?
Okay, here are my requirements.
1. i want a guy with a job. i work, so he should have to work too.
2. i want a guy who has all of his teeth. LMAO.
3. i want a guy who has ambition, either to his job, or towards going somewhere with his life.
4. if you don't want kids, move along. no point in wasting my time, or yours.
5. if you do drugs, even weed, see number 4.
6. i want a guy who is musically talented, or at least likes music.
7. if you are in the military, or work as a cop, emt, or fire fighter, you will score major points with me. i love a man in uniform.
8. i want a guy who isn't abusive. i have dealt with this before, and i am not dealing with it again.
9. i want a guy who is willing to spend a great deal of time with me, or near me. even if we aren't talking. just sitting next to each other enjoying the silence.
10. i want a guy over the age of 20. preferably someone who drinks socially. not an outright alcoholic.
11. if you are interested in dungeons and dragons, WOW, or any other sword fighting, role playing stuff, don't tell me. i don't need to know.
12. i want a guy who isn't going to go back to his ex girlfriend next week. if you cheat on me with a fat chick with a mustache, go fuck yourself.
If you actually made it this far, and you think you can make me happy, message me. Right now, I am at a point of my life where I am picky. Don't expect much from me, because I am not in the mood for your bullshit. Also, don't expect sex from me. I am not wanting a sexual relationship.
so yea, this basically sums everything up. i am not majorly picky. at least i don't think i am.
Thursday, June 1, 2006
Don't hit on your waiter. He might be married...
I think the title says enough. The hot waiters at Rancho, Luis and Abel, are married. Also, they have kids... I had to learn the hard way. Maybe now, this will help some of you.
In other words, I am single again. And for some reason, I intend to stay that way, because there are only two other guys I'd date, and neither of them live in this area... but then again, I'd probably take HIM back...
In other words, I am single again. And for some reason, I intend to stay that way, because there are only two other guys I'd date, and neither of them live in this area... but then again, I'd probably take HIM back...
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
hate me
(Verse 1)
I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space
(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you
(Verse 2)
I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing that I won't touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you
(Verse 3)
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling make it go away,
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"
(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you
I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space
(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you
(Verse 2)
I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing that I won't touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you
(Verse 3)
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling make it go away,
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"
(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you
my birthday
my birthday was awesome. i'll post pictures of it soon. my younger sister made the mistake of telling abel, a rancho grande waiter, that it was my birthday. at the end of my meal, the whole staff came out carrying a sombrero, a plate of sour cream, a cup of spoons, and a camera.. they were singing to me in spanish. well, abel puts the sombrero on my head, and walks behind me, and puts sour cream on my face. i jumped up out of my chair, put sour cream on my hands, and i started putting sour cream on his face... well, he moved, and they got picks of me with him backed up into a corner fighting for his life, or so i wouldn't put sour cream on him. then they got picks of me with sour cream on my face... omg it was hilarious. after the staff left, abel was still in the back, and i still had sour cream, so i took a hand full of it and threw it at him. he ducked, so it went into his hair. it was freakin awesome.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
okay...
I noticed that a lot of the stuff i'm posting lately on anything has been called okay... whatever though. currently my computer is dead, so i'm at the library checking my stuff. we're waiting on beall's to get my sisters check in the mail... yea, that's about it. anyways, tomorrow is my birthday. i need plans. if any of you are local, get in touch with me somehow... we should hang out. since i know most of you, and i'm assured that none of you are freaks, i think i'm going to post my number so my locals can call me. i need someone to hang out with. i'm going through a very hard time right now. i think i'm going to become a nun... or whatever. i'm not ready to share, so just keep me in mind whenever you are feeling sad, and know that i am also feeling very bad... yea, you heard me....
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